Uncle Bob on Life, the Universe, and Everything

October 17, 2006

The Locker Room

When I was in 8th grade, a new kid came to our school.  He had been kicked out of his last school in a "tougher" part of the district, so he was an instant hero.  A real "hood".  He would greet you for the first time by giving you a big smile with sparkling eyes while enticingly pointing his thumbs to his crotch.  As you inevitably looked down to follow his pointing gesture he’s say: "Bagged ya!".  Ha, ha, ha.  Hee, hee, hee. Ho, ho, ho.  Nothing brightens the day like teenage boy humor.

Twenty years ago I worked as a chief software architect at a network management startup.  I was in the mens room one day and two guys in business suits sidled up to the urinals.  As they finished one said to the other: "Carful how you shake the dew off that lilly!"  As if on cue the other responded: "Any more that two shakes and you’re playing with it!".  Ha, ha, ha.  Hee, hee, hee.  Ho, ho, ho.  Nothing brightens the day like thirty-something urinal humor.

I was watching ER last night and saw one beautiful young female doctor tell another beautiful young female doctor that she had dropped her recent boyfriend because he was "orally challenged — he wouldn’t go south of the 32nd parallel — he didn’t want to eat at the Y."  Ha, ha, ha. Hee, hee, hee.  Ho, ho, ho.  Nothing brightens the day like the writers of a once great show succumbing to the temptation to use teenage urinal humor.

I will be quite amazed if that show gets another season.  It’s gone from great to complete crap. 

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